did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize