it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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