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I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
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