Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.

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  (920): I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on. http://tfl.nu/vax8
  Replies (15) Good night (3400) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?

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  (636): Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later? http://tfl.nu/o4ww
  Replies (19) Good night (1150) Bad night (4526) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.

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  (203): he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs. http://tfl.nu/0b7z
  Replies (18) Good night (5268) Bad night (1140) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.

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  (404): Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic. http://tfl.nu/dv7k
  Replies (27) Good night (3285) Bad night (5060)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

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  (480): oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone http://tfl.nu/6uha
  Replies (5) Good night (1933) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking

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  (862): He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking http://tfl.nu/6gnv
  Replies (15) Good night (2363) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.

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  (360): I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/g0ca
  Replies (6) Good night (1404) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl

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  (406): They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl http://tfl.nu/mt8s
  Replies (7) Good night (1476) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even

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  (440): she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even http://tfl.nu/5199
  Replies (17) Good night (2248) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.

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  (714): todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera. http://tfl.nu/lq8k
  Replies (3) Good night (917) Bad night (294) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.

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  (512): I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low. http://tfl.nu/zwn3
  Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.

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  (615): I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me. http://tfl.nu/vysn
  Replies (3) Good night (377) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore

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  (805): I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore http://tfl.nu/eg5i
  Replies (3) Good night (982) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..

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  (828): btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits.. http://tfl.nu/2wvn
  Replies (10) Good night (219) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.

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  (650): At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe. http://tfl.nu/ot23
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (209)

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