As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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