Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize