there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize