I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize