And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize