Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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