We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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