So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
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It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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