what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
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I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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