At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dear god my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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