I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
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Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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