I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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