I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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