Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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