i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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