ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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