so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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