she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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