just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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