hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
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no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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