Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize