I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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