So drunk its hurt
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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