Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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