It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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