I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize