Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay

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  (202): dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay http://tfl.nu/5gp7
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  someone get that fucking seahorse.

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  (541): someone get that fucking seahorse. http://tfl.nu/vz56
  Replies (20) Good night (2558) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment

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  (212): that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment http://tfl.nu/63lr
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (2777) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.

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  (408): I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller. http://tfl.nu/ndfu
  Replies (13) Good night (562) Bad night (3624) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.

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  (304): I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up. http://tfl.nu/ory7
  Replies (46) Good night (3926) Bad night (1514) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?

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  (206): When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle? http://tfl.nu/8gva
  Replies (47) Good night (4910) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.

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  (270): Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse. http://tfl.nu/tvyi
  Replies (19) Good night (3561) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.

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  (812): You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation. http://tfl.nu/u8wd
  Replies (5) Good night (2587) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.

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  (404): We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned. http://tfl.nu/3qtb
  Replies (6) Good night (5501) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

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  (661): First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl. http://tfl.nu/e3wo
  Replies (11) Good night (654) Bad night (1274)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls

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  (401): Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls http://tfl.nu/qxtg
  Replies (9) Good night (326) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off

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  (914): The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off http://tfl.nu/j2wh
  Replies (6) Good night (780) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"

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  (817): I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV" http://tfl.nu/rps9
  Replies (7) Good night (790) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.

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  (785): I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight. http://tfl.nu/7eeo
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"

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  (651): ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering" http://tfl.nu/5vg0
  Replies (0) Good night (241) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt

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