i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
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Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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