yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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