My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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