yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize