I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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