There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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