I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize