i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize