Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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