We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize