You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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