Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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