I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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