Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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