I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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