oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
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I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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