Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize