Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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