and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize