I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
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If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize